In a lot of cases where there's dysfunction, there is hope, there is healing. And then there's narcissism.
Hypnotherapy can be very dynamic and instrumental in making changes in a positive way. There is one mental health issue that I feel (and there's research to prove it other than my own personal experience with it, and I've had a few, mostly of the 'cerebral' variety, and once with a 'somatic' type...and believe me, that's enough).
This man, Sam Vaknin, wrote a book, Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited and he has many videos on youtube as well, if you want/NEED to know more about the person you're dealing with...(and again, I will repeat, once you've identified that a person is narcissistic - of either variety - life is much simpler if you just 'RUN' for the hills, no forwarding address...).
If you are clearly 'stuck' with one (and I question that statement, if it's your spouse, you can still 'RUN' and make a new start, and if it's your boss, you can still 'RUN' i.e. get a new life gig) he even has a video that will tell you how to cope with your 'narcissist' though it's a 'catering to their needs' proposition and why would you want to compromise yourself like that??
Okay, I will post it all in a long series of videos and commentary (interspersed with other interesting topics because hopefully we don't all have a narcissist to deal with in our lives : ) but it's important to know this:
* to a narcissist, you are merely 'prey' (and I know 'OUCH,' right?) it's OK, it'll get better, I promise you, just keep watching the series unfold and I'll call in other experts and guest commenters about personal experiences because - narcissists come into your life like an actor onto a stage, it's all fabricated conversation designed to get in your head and figure out how to best lure you in).
And please, be gentle on yourself, narcissists are very good at what they do, if you feel embarrassed, shamed or anything else, I can only suggest shifting that displaced anger and hurt where it belongs, directed to the narcissist (it may be just the fuel you need to keep him or her away permanently).
Please realize that it's their art form to 'act' their way into luring you in and duping you, you were not acting but they were acting, and you could allow this realization to hurt you or you could use it to heal yourself and move on...and get on with the business of life.
Disclaimer: if you feel you must 'mourn' your narcissist in order to feel 'joy' again, please do so with gentleness for yourself, remembering that narcissists minds and hearts (they have one? Sigh, yes, it just has a very different operating system, life and love and the people they engage with is thought of as a 'game'). They simply do not operate as you do and so thinking you can help them 'get it' or heal them with your 'love' or gentle nature is just plain counter productive to your growth and expansion (i.e. letting it go and moving on)...
...and so I am posting this first video, he refers to a somatic (sexual seduction) narcissist here as well as the intellectual (superior/inferior security) narcissist type...
If you've ever dealt with one of these types of people, you know you've got your hands full; they lie, they manipulate, they charm and they hurt you and very rarely do they have any remorse or accept any responsibility for the damage they cause.
And even more rare: is change of any kind, DO NOT count on it, they CANNOT change. The percentage of narcissists that change is very low, mostly because they are fine with how they are and everyone is wrong, too sensitive, etc...and secondly because they will 'act' even in the presence of a qualified therapist and/or psychiatrist, making it very difficult for treatment. (again, it's best to 'RUN')
These traits are often a manifestation of some early childhood trauma in their upbringing, ranging from far too much praise, receiving far too much criticism, or sometimes early childhood sexual abuse causes this mental health issue to arise...there are a few other reasons though those are the significant ones to mention for now.
Hope my words and Sam's video was helpful, stay tuned for more in the days ahead.
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Cheers and here's to a successful new day!Zen Lilli
